Chapter 19

Scraunched.

Splirged.

Threalt.

Crug.

Snik.

Bep.

Ap.

Q!

December 12, 1909.[1]  A light rain fell today.  In the hotel room no one was listening.  The señoritas[2] said I was dashing in my purple outfit.  Was dashing the right word?  I don't know anything any more.  The rain flickers fleetingly on some streets.

March 14, 1919.  More rain.[3]

March 22, 1999.  For too long have I been sitting in the hotel making passes at myself[4] and feints at the front door[5].  If my daughter, God rest her perfumed old soul, were still with us, I'd make sure that she would get me out of this fine fancy pickle.  Fine, French, fiduciary-assed pickle.

March 24, 9999.  A light rain fell today.[6]  In it I saw: the pelts of fifty thousand hussars who had been dematerialized in their suitcases; a smattering of German; two pickle-dogs who had lived life to the last drop of goodness; a man who was left over from the days of Petunias; a war case from the telephony war; a compendium of remarkable occurrences within the last few hundred millenia of recorded history, set in order, proselytized, and mulched by Sir Henry Henry Q Henry the fifth of old New New Cumberland, knighted by His Imperial Monstrosity Archibald MMMCCCXXXIII; a pair of shoes; a dialect[7], a brogue, an argot, and a groatsworth of penny loafers; dust from the last meal of Waxworthie Penguin; Antarctic picture factories and their leftover conundrums; a lie from the reign of Democratic IV; a book made of paper; a glove made of harpoon leather and first sewn[8]8 in 1859, but since then variously reconstituted by bodily fluids of extinct races; a dozen or so hundreds of score megathumpers; a vial of semen from Miss Palindrhyme; the Emir of Ohio; my left finger; large, unrecognizable objects bearing a strong resemblance to my first cupcake; a calendar which recorded true, subjective temporality; men wearing live tigers as fashionable undergarments; and much more.

---

[1]This was all composed of the finest frippery.  Within it were found the anabasis and anamnesis of an amanuensis.

[2]Greenwich pronunciation.

[3]Which would seem to indicate a preternatural prepossession with repossession.

[4]Not to be taken lightly.

[5]To be taken very lightly, with a grain of paprika thrown over the left shoulder, and then, only then, sprinkled with a vigorous cry of "Hey Nonny Nonny!"

[6]Compare as with aforesaid preterprosed.

[7]Yiddish.

[8] Highly unlikely.  See Mr. Panjandrum Panini Pelletier von Pundit, Microbes of the Northeast, Calcutta, n.d.